Isnin, 21 Disember 2009

quit yanking at my heart u fool

IT'S ALL COMING BACK TO ME

i hope this feeling is momentary. Oh God, cuz if it's not, then i musta have been such a fool for the past few years.

a simple conversation with my senior suddenly made me realized. it may be the sole reason as to why i cant move on and keep on finding rebound, keep on finding excuses on rejecting those who want to come near me.

the time we had together was so short. but him being the first to enter that special territory of my life still hold its significance right there. at the corner of my heart, well, if something like that exists anyway.

the first guy who fits my prince charming list. as petty as it seems, its true.
the first guy who said 'i love you' to me. and shyly said it. (it's all coming back to me now)
the first guy who sings to me. teddy geiger's. i remember how i used to hate that song but he managed to bring a smile to me when i heard it. it's just so darn ironic.

shoot...

i love the way he walks next to me. his tall frame made me feel incredibly safe for goodness' sake!
the way he smiles. the way he smirks. the way he sat down lax with his fingers tapping on the table following the song's beats. the way he gazed down. sometimes im thankful that im short. XD you know what i mean.

we chatted last time, updating our lives and all. he's with his longtime crush now. good for him, i feel happy for him. and envy of her. he's a gem. then he asked me the same thing. whether i had moved on with other guys since we both broke up. i said no. i said im lazy to commit myself to such relationships. lying to him and to myself obviously.

the point here is, he belongs to another. it's a territory that i cant even step on.

I'm a hypocrite if i said no to one of the most obvious questions ever - what would u say if he comes back for a second chance? will you say yes?

I dont think i'll hesitate. maybe for a second, but i know the answer is clear.

it's a YES.

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