happy new year!!!

26.12.2008CHIKUSHO. CHIKUSHO. CHIKUSHO.A good day for celebrating the festive season huh? Merry-making, jollying around. Such a perfect day for my dear kitten to die. Now i know the ill consequence if i start to get close with something or someone. Ang giving them nicknames or pet name would always make it worse.See, i have this really adorable orange kitten which i called Hitsugaya (i love Hitsugaya Toushirou, the ‘jyuuban ban taichou’ in Bleach) See, i have 3 more kittens which i named Ichigo, Zaraki and Renji (but since none of them resemble the Bleach’s characters, i dont love them as much as i endeared Hitsugaya).Then my cousin’s family came and accidentally kicked the poor fella. Then my BIG auntie came and STEPPED on it. Fucking funny huh. And that poor fella is as big as my palm and as light as a half of my Tropicana red cap. Hours later, the kitten couldnt move.I dont know what to feel cuz i used to brag that i’m quite an ignoramus and if something bad happen, i’m the usually the one who could still maintain a straight face.I wanted to cry so badly, but my rough side said heck, it’s just a kitten. So what, right.
I laid my hands on the kitten n prayed, hoping for some miracle, even for this Christmas. Thinking back that the Lord Jesus was born on this day in a manger, laying there hopelessly and so vulnerable. (yeah, i know Jesus was born somewhere in the middle of March till April actually. 25 Dec is actually the worship day of the Sun by some stupid ancient citizens). Then i thought, the situation was about the same as my dear Hitsugaya. Both were babies and so vulnerable. Even little things could result the babies to deaths. So maybe God would heal it. After all, its His creation anyway.Or maybe He didnt listen to my prayer since the life or death of the kitten would not make any significant change to my life, so it doesnt matter if He take away its life right?
But then... nothing happened. I couldnt remember the last time i prayed so desperately hoping that He would miraculously give my dearest strength to give even a little meow. (I hate when i get so troubled over things like this. But what can I do. I sometimes value the lives of cats and human are of equal). All i saw was it laying there, couldnt even move a milimetre and opening n closing its little mouth, gasping for something. I remembered the day when my great grandma died in front of me. She gasped the same way too. But in the more creepy way.
You know my mind is in a turmoil right now by the disorganization of my blog. Cuz i’m just writing down what’s crossing my mind right now.
I wanted to change. To see things in God’s point of view, including the death of my Hitsugaya. Shit, i shouldnt cry for something like this. But I cried. And am still crying anyway. Feeling sorry for my own self, desperately building tall walls which surround me like a solid denial, wanting to cage away my own insecurities and uncertainties of life. I’m not sure whether God is answering my prayer. I’m so sad that our once so-close relationship has turned out to be like this. It’s my fault, I know, cuz it has never beeen Yours, to start off with.
I’m having a real hard time to deal with this alone because I cant find the right person to talk to. The JUST right person. A pastor maybe. Youth leader perhaps. God maybe. But I’m having a hard time listening to Him so might as well i chose the former two options.
I REALLY REALLY WANT TO CHANGE. Enough with the walls. The denial. The insecurities and uncertainties. The stupid ways I try to hold on to to temporarily forget the things that I’m going through, like flirting, for instance. Enough with the tough act. Enough with being ignorant.
I want to be more refined. More humble. More open in accepting my own feelings. More gentle. More rational and matured in thinking. More adapt to listen to His voice like I did 3 years ago. I want to see the good and positive side of people instead of gossiping behind their backs. I want to love people more. I want to be an optimist, keep relying on the truth that God indeed is omnipotent and omniscient. To be more skillful in handling things and my emotions.
I WANT TO BE THE BEST THAT GOD WANTS ME TO BE. Because to be better is SO not enough.Okay. I feel better now. If God wants to take Hotsugaya’s life, so be it. He gives and take away anyway.
27.12.08I was observing my big student bible which my parents gave me a couple of weeks after my water baptism year 2005. A smile was hinted on my lips when I see a lot of cute little animes i’ve drawn on the pages with quotations on top each one of them. It was my very first personal bible so heck, who cares what I did and do to it anyway. If I have the power to turn back time, I would really want to go back to my form 4 life. The magical year for me, the turning point of my life. So a lot of inspirational words popped out (thanks to The Author).The very first page of my bible - it was full of scribbles and collages of animes, Japanese and Korean artists. Hm... not so... biblical huh. Watever. So, these are what I’ve scribbled:“Walk in proclamation of who Jesus is – Healer, Deliverer, Saviour... =)”; “Jesus is the God of miracles! God uses unlikely people to fulfills divine destiny” – yeah, take Moses for instance. He was a murderer and yet he’s the one God chose to lead His people to the promised land.“Fear not, for I am with you. Be not dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with My victorious right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10) “We are called to believe and suffer”. – sounds... cool and ‘gaok’ huh? Haha“I will shout Jesus’s fame!” – I love this one. So cool.SIBKL THEME FOR 2007 – “Reproducing Christ’s DNA”“Go! I am sending you out like lambs among wolves – Jesus”“Since the day i left home I’ve carried my cross, running to the ends of earth for Jesus, I’ve shared in the sufferings of my Lord, proclaiming the gospel thru the eyes of tears, many times throught the wind and rain, tears have fallen down my cheeks, many things burden my heart but Jesus’s love keeps leading me, His love and grace encourage me, keeping me perfectly from day to day” – this is an excerpt that I took from Brother Yu’s testimony (i think) from this book. Forgot the title.“revival looks like you and your story”“I, even I, am He who comforts you. Who are you that you fear mortal men, the sons of men, who are but grass, that you forget the Lord your Maker...? For i am the Lord your God, who churns up the sea so that its waves roar- the Lord Almighty is His Name. (Isaiah 51:12-16)” “Relax. God is in charge of everything” – But most of the time, I CANT relax at all. My bad. Hahaha“God wants variable kinds of fish.” – sure u guys dont understand this. Well, we’re called to be fishers of men right. So its not godly to just love and care for your own clan or race or gang. That’s no different from the ancient tax collectors. Well, those who dont understand... xpala. Only those who read Bible understand. Ahahahha, true bha!“Got Jesus? It would be hell without Him”. – This one by far is the coolest. Not that I said that the Bible’s phrases arent as important though. This phrase was printed on a T-shirt of a male camper when I was in a Youth camp at Kem Permai. The “Got Jesus?” was printed on the right sleeve with a palmprint printed at the bottom of it and “It would be hell without Him” printed at the back of the shirt. If I’m not mistaken. Hmm...
Well, a lot of other pages have collages on them cuma malas mok explain memanjang. But these are my favourite quotes:
It takes the storm to prove the rwla shelter.Grace is free, but God has to pay for it.Dont limit God by our own limitations.If you’ve seen God’s holiness, faith is effortless.Spend the night under the shadow of His wings. The darker it gets, the longer the shadow will covers you.
And there is this one beautiful piece of poem which a Singaporean sister wrote just after her mysterious death in the 1970-s. Got it from an old book.
“You said You’d come and share all my sorrowsYou said You’d be there for all my tomorrowsI came so close to sending You awayBut just like You promisedYou came here to stayI just have to pray
And Jesus said, “Come to the waterStand by My sideI know You are thirstyYou wont be denied.I felt every tear dropWhen i darkness you criedAnd i strove to remind youThat for those tears I died.”
Your goodness so great i cant understandAnd dear Lord, i know that all this was planned.I know You are here now and always will be.Your love loosed my chainsAnd in You I am freeBut why me?Jesus, I give You my heart and my soulI know now without God I’d never be wholeSaviour, You opened all the right doorsAnd i thank You and praise YouFrom this earth’s humble shoresTake me, I’m Yours.”
27.12.08
MERRY CHRISTMAS, FELLAS!!!!!!
Paul Harvey tells a modern parable about a religious skeptic who worked a s a farmer. One raw winter night the man heard an irregular thumping against the kitchen storm door. He went to a window and watched as tiny, shivering sparrows, attracted to the evident warmth inside, beat in vain against the glass.Touched, the farmer bundled up and trudged through fresh snow to open the barn door for the struggling birds. He turned on the lights and tossed some hay in the corner. But the sparrows, which had scattered in all directions when he emerged from the house, hid in the darkness, afraid.The man tried various tactics to get them into the barn. He laid down a trail of Saltine cracker crumbs to direct them. He tried circling behind the birds to drive them toward the barn. Nothing worked. He, a huge alien creature, had terrified them; the birds couldnt comprehend that he actually desired to help them.The farmer withdrew to his house and watched the doomed sparrows through a window. As he stared, a thought hit: “If only i could become a bird – one of them – just for a moment. Then i wouldnt frighten them so. I could show them the way to warmth and safety.”At the same moment, another thought dawned on him. He had grapsed the reason Jesus was born.
HAVE A BLESSED CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!

I WANNA GO TO DAMAI BUT MY BIG BOSSES WONT LET ME!!!!!!!!!!

BE MY ESCAPE

Yeah, browsing thru the list of my songs again. like to express my situation from time to time with existing songs. more feel la tek~

BE MY ESCAPE - RELIENT K

I’m givin up, im giving up slowly
Im blending in so you wont even know me
Apart from this whole world that shares my fate
This one last bullet u mentioned
Is my one last shot of redemption
Cuz i know to live, you must give ur life away
now i’ve been housing all this doubts and insecurities
now i’ve been locked inside that house all the while you hold the key
now i’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
and even though there’s no way of going, where to go, promise i’m going because
i... gotta get outta here
im stuck inside this rut that i fell into by mistake
yeah, i... gotta get outta here
and im begging you
im begging you
im begging you to be my escape
i’m giving up, i’m doing this alone now
cuz i’ve failed and im ready to be shown how
show me the way n im trying to get there
and this life sentence that im serving
i admit that im every bit deserving
but the beauty of grace is that its make life not fair

i fought you for so long now
should’ve let you win
oh how we regret those things we do
all i was trying to do is save my own skin
but so are you
so are you.....

THE WAY TO BEGIN - KRYSTAL MEYERS

Dear God, its me again down here
Dont wanna sound insincere
Im lost, sometimes you’re so unclear
What can I do, i’m feeling so far from you
Frustrated, irritated, disconnected from it all
The weight of the world has pushed me to the wall!!!

I’ll open my broken heart cuz i’ve reached the end
And you are the way to begin

I’ve seen a million empty smiles, living in denial
I dont wanna live like that
Where nothing’s real, i hate it is to feel
Frustrated, irritated, disconnected from it all!!!
Im breaking, aching for something beautiful!!!!!!!

Make me whole.
It’s not the end, this is just the beginning.

NEVER LET THE DEVIL SMILE XD

Warghh... I need to go sing my heart out karaoke-ing or go midnight joyride with my friends and channel my stress in a good way instead of alcohol. Lols~ as if i’d do that. As naughty as i am, i’d never let the bad win!!!!!!
Yes!!!!!!!!! Ahahahha... I wonder if my parents allow me to go midnight joyriding. Uhuhuhu~~
For a Pessimist, I’m pretty Optimistic.

Please tell me now b4 i fall

[reminiscing my younger days back in KL]

I’ve been browsing my 1000+ songs in my laptop when i clicked one of Cassie’s songs – Is it You? I laughed to myself cuz i found it amusing – how that song fits into my situation right now.

Is It You – Cassie

Im looking for a lover not a friend
Someone who could be there when i need some1 to talk to
Im looking for some1 who wont pretend
Some1 who’s not afraid to say the way they feel about you
And im looking for some1 who understands how i feel
Some1 who can keep me real
And who knows the way
Boy i’d like to have you in my way
And im looking for some1 who takes me there
Wants to share, Shows he cares
Thinkin you’re the one that i’ve been waiting for

Is it you? Is it you?
Maybe you’re the one i’ve been waiting for
Could you be the one for me? Could you be the one i need?

Im looking for some1 to share my pain
Some1 who i can run to who will stay with me when it rains
Some1 who i can cry with thru the night
Some1 who i can trust whose heart is right
...
IS IT YOU?????

And yeah. As i scrolled my list down, I thought of dedicating this next song to Daniel. Yeah, it does sound emo, but it isnt as serious as that. LOL

Cold As You – Taylor Swift
You have a way of coming easily to me
And when you take, you take the very best of me
So i start a fight cuz i need to feel something...
Oh what a shame, what a rainy day given to a perfect day...
And now im sitting here thinking it thru, i’ve never been anywhere as cold as you

And the next song – Mirror by Barlowgirl – I dedicated this song to myself. No matter what happens, I wont let the world sets its standards on me. Hee~ not that i said i wont dress to impress though. Girls wanna have fun too rite.

Mirror, mirror on the wall
Have i got it?
Cuz mirror, u always told me who I am
I’m finding it’s not easy to be perfect
So sorry... you wont define me
Sorry... you dont own me!!!

Who are you to tell me that i’m less than what i should be?
Who are you? Who are you?
I dont need to listen to the list of things i should do
I wont try, noo, i wont try

Mirror, i am seeing a new reflection
I’m looking into the eyes of the you’ve made me
And to him, im a beauty beyond compare
I know he defines me
Yeah!

You dont define me (no, you dont define me)
You dont define me (no, you dont define me)
YOU DONT DEFINE ME....!!!

Drowning myself

I'm starting to entertain myself with the thoughts of drowning myself in alcohol lately. I'm worried. So so worried. I need to go out to get some fresh air, maybe hanging out with my friends. but my parents wont understand it.

God, I need to cry now. I'm really one damsel in distress. I need to have some real FUN.

A Dense Pig

[a high end audio]


I never thought I could be so worked up before in my whole life. Never thought I could found such trash before. It's like you saw something great at Jusco, (say, a hi-fi set) plus, the item has been rumoured to have the best quality in its league - clarity, space, timing.... You put such high hopes on that thing to work, cuz you spent fuckin much money on it. You switched on that thing.




and NOTHING happened. You smack that thing hard, maybe some wires r lose or sumthing. still...

NOTHING happened. Then what would most people do? Maybe you guys would go to the shop again to replace it with another set. But oopsie, you cant. Cuz the things sold there is non-refundable. So alright, you think. probably its best to send it to be repaired or sumthing. But oopsie, suddenly the repair guy tells you that the main thing is missing.

The circuit board is missing!!!!!!!! The most important n expensive stuff in a high-end audio!!! And you're pissed off. Wat would you do then? Ofcourse, the obvious thing ever.

THROW IT OUT. CUZ IT'S A FUCKING TRASH.

Unless you want to sell it to some steel factory to be recycled. LOL

EMO ERA (title is of the courtesy of The Fool)

lols... i'm not sure whether this situation worries or amuses me. either way la. yala... everyone seems to have no mood liaw. the death mood is hanging sourly in the class' atmosphere. it's like attending a celebrity's funeral on the sabbath day with a bright orange t-shirt with I-M-Single emblazoned across it. (i hope K-Fed died cuz he created another 2 phenomenal disasters - Britney Spears and Chris Crocker) . So what's a good way to release the stress ley? sure... PARTY. well, its not much of a party anyway, just a small gathering.


well, anyway, we had this birthday surprise for Yii Hou's 20th bday.

so this is me with the crazy reen cam-whoring in the chonglin lift. around an hour before the party started. (~I...m coming out so you better get the party started~~)

the mommy audrey n the adopted daughter.




cam whoring again. actually i wanted to delete this pic but audrey insisted that reen uploaded it on my facebook. l0ols

lols~ i forgot who took this pic. but... yeah , the photoshop made it looks nicer. wahahahah~ people said (or that certain particular person) said it's a combination of innocence+naughtiness n watnot. XD

tsk. i never knew I'm good at taking pictures. XD keep on rocking reen!!!

and yeah... for the finale... just took 3 sips of vodka, feel ngantok ady. peh~~ im no use in attending the annual gawai fest. XD no lah. blum minum gik ya. me and reen tried the who-look-more-drunk competition. guess i won. XD

yay......... the innocent lebat is fading away......... but still good la. no worries to my ex-classmates. ahahahah

eh jap. the topic kinda lari ady la. supposed to be emo-themed rite. ahh, no wonder i got so low in my english test. lols

Misery loves a Company

I was about to search for my eraser in the pencilcase when i realized that i was crying. God, I need to hold on. I need some time to adjust myself from this uncomfortable zone.
I cursed in front of my mom for the first time. I felt guilty that I cried. I changed so much lately. It’s like I dont know myself anymore. My patience and cool are starting to dissipate. I’m worried.
God, where are You when I need Your company the most? I’m breaking down. I’m not sure. Is playing by the world’s rules aren’t alright? Or is it just because I’m not a good player?
For my friends who happen to read this, I’m sorry that some of my words did hurt you. I might be a fuckin’ly ignorant person, but trust me when i say this. I need some time. My ignorance doesnt imply that I’m not concerned about you guys. It’s just that I’m in distress now and I really need time.
I trust that time could heal. And so does God.

Bob Hair

I wanna cut my hair!!!
My dad complains of me not tying up my hair n it annoys him that i always brushed my bangs off my face whenever I'm driving.
Wahahahahaha~~ lawak ndah. bodo ada.

MORE WORK?????!!!

fuck man! blum smpat gik ku mok rest, keja datang mlambak gik!!!!!!!!!
bullshit!!!!!!!!!!! how the fuck can i finish 5 assgnments tonight???!!!

isnt relieved yet, dammit!!!

yo bi.

okayla, i'm happy cuz asfia's model is finished (at last!!!). one of the problems in my life solved. bullshit liaw, terry's assignments r waiting!!! i badly need a LONG rest, considering I've been working on my model for three days straight from day to nite. (yeah, and foul language dah kdak asam garam keropok udang bg aku)

I NEED REST!!! I DEMAND FOR A LIFETIME'S REST!!! lol

feeLin Weird

i'm... so blur...

things that i'm unhappy during this week:
1. the assignments, as usual. triple duh.
2. related to the above truth. I'm supposed to do my f**kin assignments but I'm distracted so easily. food~ youtube~ warcraft~ more games~ my bed~ CHAT~ (wonder who should i put this blame to. lols. me la, partly)
3. i'm tired. it's like 99% of my usual hyperness has been sucked by a big f**kin black hole.
4. asfia's model's due date is next monday and i havent done the f**kin base.
5. the fact that i'm active in using foul language nowadays.
6. the fact that i cant get wireless signal from my room. lols

things that i'm happy (and blur) at the same time:
1. getting my new fuel-efficient car this week (do i HAVE to put fuel-efficient thing there? ah well~ one reason to be happy about)
2. got the highest marks in maths n building structure. che~ what's to be cheered for. it's only B for the latter one. (lol)
3. terry (i heart you) finally decided that we should pass up the whole folder next week. yay~
4. karaoke with my crazy groupmates at Jo's house. She's a good pianist. and i sux at guitar ~.~
5. i finally have set a goal this coming sem holi. WORK~~~~ yay!

Bullshits

Wtf is happening to me lately?? i hate myself cuz im being... maybe a lil too hypocrite. Why do i have to run away whenever i saw his glimpse??? It's not as if he'll eat me alive or sumthin... so why scared??
wow, if he happens to read this, he should be proud. cuz he's probably the 2nd guy that I'm afraid of, besides my dad. lols

SZCHIZOPHRENIA remix

Yeah, heard about sum1 with a 'dwi personaliti?'

yeah....

I think I'm one of them, although I'm not that disordered as to freak people out. I think I have to tell ya'll about what I'm used to be. Ask any of my childhood friends, and this one word would usually popped out - NERD.

lols... looking back to at my 19-year-old life, i think i've changed a lot, even tho the sisa2 ke-nerdy-an is still there. You know what, I should've taken a pic of my academic achievements (there were over 25 piala n watnot), but I've thrown almost all of them away. menyemak bha, polah sakit mata memandang cuz I'm dumber now. lols... malas ma.

well, the stor goes like tis. last week, i went visiting zu's house with a couple of my ex-classmates. After talking to me for like 10 mins, they were like a lil shocked n went 'lebat... you've changed hoh?' (well, i went out with my chinese gang ma). i was a lil surprised too cuz the old me would talk like this.

"so... nick, congrats for your band 6 in muet."
"why, thanks." (and nicholas would grin. or smugged.)
"So i heard that you're taking five subjects for your coming stpm. You'll do well, no doubt about it."
"what, I almost got an A for my chemistry. if i'd argue for my 4 mark, i'll surely get that grade"(nicholas would grin some more. He's the most kiasu guy I've ever met)
"no worries, you can do it."

bla~ bla~ more talking about academics. But heck, no. this was the real conversation.well, almost.

"so... nick, congrats for your band 6 in muet."
"why, thanks." (and nick did smugged, as I've expected.)
"So how's your exam? stpm is around the corner rite?" (I already fet queasy and adjusted my seat. well, almost)
"what, I almost got an A for my chemistry. If i'd argue for my 4 marks, i'll surely get that grade". (he didnt grin. his smug deepened.)
"Oh."

then I turned around to mandy and started talking craps. and boys. lols.....
Not that I'm against academics though, no. (i love oganic chem n genetic engineering. ah, well~)
okay, it's not a huge change or watnot, but I've somehow (mandy realized, as the rest of the gang did) that I'm more confident in myself. (i remembered when I joined the debate team. luckily, thank God, i wasnt one of the speakers. I was just the info gatherer. wujudkah? and the time when I joined kuiz kesihatan peringkat sarawak in mukah. we won the peringkat saringan cuz it was in an enclosed hall. but when we successfully got thru the saringan, it's time to face the best of the bests. shoot, i was sitting, on the stage, facing hundreds of senior high-schoolers. and i didnt feel like myself. I was nervous like crazy. almst luput one. okayla... dapat juak naib peringkat negeri nak)

and they said I've became naughtier!! (in its broadest sense. lols)

alamak. it's 5 pm. mok tido lok. klak bercerita cintun gik. mata panda. 0.O lol

conclusion? I was a nerd. and maybe still am. hahha, wait, i havent explain why the heck am i being szchizophrenic. that will have to wait then. ~~~

My head hurts!!!

Bullllll maannnn..... it's a wonder why zits-breakout havent occured to me yet so far, considering the generously flowing assignments incoming!!!!!

Okay. ofcourse i experienced stress before. The worst so far was when I was about to face the Final Exam of PASUM (pusat asasi sains uni malaya). gila siot. PIMPLE BREAKOUTS BIG TIME. Taihen desune, it was hard to find suitable facial wash then (L'oreal, Gervenne, Olay... All that were bullshits) Sorry, I was sidetracked.

Anyway... this is what, 6th october? And... okay. (counting~ counting~) 3 more models to be finished. Eh wait... yeah, 3 is the minimum. arghh... and tomorrow is the due date for 20+ sketches of architectural drawing.

(EHHH??????!!!!!)

Thanks for the sweet reminder. Now I'm starting to think why the hell am I procrastinating, wasting my precious time blogging this stupid post.

LIMKOKWING

Hai, hai, doumo... Watashi no namae wa Lebat desu... Oukashi darou?
(yes, yes, hello... The name's Lebat... Weird eh?)

Kick that aside.

Welcome to my positively-superbly hectic college life. Driving me crazy by each assignment. Goodness. My usual Lebat-ness' hyperness is fading away. I realized that I'm getting matured and more serious (dunno whether that's a good thing) in handling my things.

Hai, hai. I'm sidetracked again. Sumimasen deshita.

First week... How was it? Well, everyone is new, and of course... hee~ my sharingan and byakugan were activated cuz there's a lot of eye candies roaming around. Shoot. And I thought, "why the hell am I being too properly-dressed today? Kdak nerd jak". lols... We have really cool student council and really rare clubs like anime and japanese club, fashion club... I mean, oukashi no arimasen, but it's rare right? And "rare" is a cool thing.

Second week... Real assignments started to bounce happily in, leaving me into my normal rate of distress. Well, well, well. "Limkokwing does has a high standard, no?"
Making friends were taihen (hard) and mendokusai (ma fan), but I've gotta blend in, right? Even Tarzan knows that too. Yeah, I met the brutal Jo and the hafu Jeaz. and yeah, the nice Reen. And yeah, the Nigerians. (cho mukatsuku!! adalah hal ya. mengenja-ngenja sik tentu pasal. hidung tak mancung2, pipi tersorong2).

Hmm... how's the story goes again? Oh yeah. We just met (for mere minutes, talking shit and do nothing) when suddenly he called me at the night. I was being polite, so I answered la. Yappari. I couldnt understand a word he said. (lols) but i knew from his tone, he didnt mean anything friendly. in fact, more than friendly. so i asked him to msg me instead (since i dunno what the f**k was he talking about).
"How do you find black guys?"
My 200-grammed heart was almost dislocated from its original position. Sigh... somehow I knew this thing would eventually come.
"I like fair-skinned guys, like chinese or japanese."
In hope that he would get the hint la. Yappari... kono aitsu... sugoi chitsukoi na! (as i expected... that guy... is very persistent!!)
"I like your smile, your eyes, and you're not like other malaysian girls I've ever encountered. ou're modest, just like me."
Fuck man! I was taken aback (because of the modest thing. I never knew that the word modest does actually keyed in my life's dictionary) and my eyebrows quickly turned into a deep frown. He doesnt even know me, we just talked for mere minutes, and now he has the f**kin cheek to judge me?? Damn, Damn.

Well... the story has its own continuation. and the worst part of it is, another nigerian got a lil too friendy with me too. but thank god he got the wrong number. wahahah........
Since then, I became more aware and not to be friendly with guys until I can get the gist of their true colours. Yelah... aku nie pompuan jer kan. Lainla kalu I lelaki, kamcheng ngan bebudak tak tentu hala pun orait je kan?

So far, so good la. I'm grateful that I'm outta my comfortable zone ma. My life back in UM was even more pleasing and predictabe than this one.

In other words, I'm moving to the next stage of my life - more challenging.

I need that.