i want the good ole me!

I dont know what’s the issue of trying-to-go-thru-the-young-adult phase thing, but you bet i dont like it. It’s like your hormone started to kick in (in a different way, trigerring different things) and suddenly you became super emo and wanting your independence fiercely. And, apparently i’m in that situation too. As my previous post has stated, I NEED A TIME-OUT!
Every lil’ word my parents say would surely make me squirm (or pissed) and knowing myself to be a short-tempered person, i would prolly end up like my bro – a half-outcast of the house. But too bad, i’m a girl, so no matter how fucked up i may be, i’m just too precious too be thrown out like that. Yea, sarcastic there. I KNOW that their intentions are good, it’s just that i dont wanna receive their advice. It’s like this every single tiny cell in my body has this high leveled resistance (antiparents sort of antibodies; just that there’s no antiserum to identify their existence) towards their orders. But i have to follow their orders (not because their words are LAWS) since i’m still under their care. Ahhh, i need to graduate fast!!! After 3 years of diploma, i’m going to australia and THAT would be a super hella of a FREEDOM. The word freedom itself is orgasmic to me and it gives me a sense of tingling inside. Oh my goodness, i really want that. I want to structure my life and see the world from my viewpoint.
I used to be so goody-two-shoes that i even think that a lil foul language is like a piece of hell to me. I dont even think of lying (now that i think that im getting better with lying, i’m starting to feel guilty here. well, at least). AND, everytime i hear my friend is getting into trouble, i’d immediately pray for them. Yea, i sounded like a lil priest back then. But as my friend used to say, people grow and change. So there’s this tiny glint of hope deep down in my heart saying that i’m gonna be the goody-two-shoes once again after this all hormone-kicking thingie. But looking at the bright side (and the geeky dorky nerdy side) these experience will make me a better player of the world, understanding their rules and playing their games wisely. Hmm. That sounds good. I’ve been naive long enough and it’s time to flood my mind with these things. Not that i’m saying i’ve grown interested in becoming worldly, but to equip myself from them. You know, like an imaginary armor or something.
It’s interesting to note that almost every post that i typed in will always trailed off to a different topic altogether. Ah well. The conclusion is – help!!! I want the ole’ good me back!!!